Best Portal 2 Quotes

E così ho finalmente finito portal 2, con un bel pò di ritardo in più rispetto al previsto. Devo dire che mi è veramente piaciuto. Non lascia stupiti come il primo e ha qualche calo nella fase centrale, ma, grazie a una serie di ottimi puzzle e idee e a un cast divertentissimo si gioca con grande piacere.

Devo dire che dei tre personaggi, Cave Johnson non mi ha particolarmente entusiasmato. Glados è spettacolare come il primo, ma per me a rubare la scena è la new entry wheatley, con alcune delle uscite più geniali del gioco.

Quello che mi lascia perplesso è che il single player sembra una specie di "tutorial" dato che le nuove meccaniche vengono inserite, ma i puzzle che le sfruttano in maniera complicata sono pochini. Sono molto curioso di vedere con cosa se ne sono usciti nella modalità in cooperativa... beh si tratta di aspettare il ritorno di esa e convincerla a mettere su una lan ^__^.

Anyway, alcune delle frasi che mi hanno fatto ridere di più nel gioco... e mi sono accorto mentre guardavo su imdb che sono taaaaante XD

Wheatley:

Wheatley: [after meeting Chell, who has been in sleep stasis for many years] Most test subjects do experience some, um, cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now, you've been under for... quite a lot longer, and it's *not* out of the question that you might have a *very* minor case of... serious brain damage. But, don't be alarmed, all right? Although if you do feel alarmed, try to hold onto that feeling, because that is the proper reaction to being told that you've got brain damage. Do you understand what I'm saying? At all? Does any of this make any sense? Just tell me, just say yes. 

[Onscreen prompt: "Space" SPEAK; button is pressed, Chell jumps] 
Wheatley: Okay, what you're doing there is jumping. Uh, you just jumped. But never mind; say apple. "Apple." 
[Onscreen prompt: "Space" SAY APPLE; button is pressed, Chell jumps again, a distant alarm starts going off] 
Wheatley: Okay, you know what? That's close enough, just hold tight. 
[Wheatley goes up his track into a hole in the ceiling] 

Wheatley: [Wheatley leads Chell through a dark area of the facility] Ah, brilliant! You made it through! Well done. Okay, follow me. We've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here. 
[lights in the room start to go off one by one] 
Wheatley: What's that thing? Um... Hmm. Okay. 
[it is now pitch black] 
Wheatley: Okay, uh... Don't move. Okay, all right. So, I've got an idea, but it is bloody dangerous. Here we go. 
[he turns his flashlight on] 
Wheatley: AAAAH! 
[looks around] 
Wheatley: Oh, for God's sake... They told me that if I ever turned this flashlight on, I would die! They told me that about everything! I don't even know why they bother giving me this stuff if they didn't want me to use it; it's pointless! Mad! 

Wheatley: Most test subjects do experience some, uh, cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now, you've been under for quite a lot longer, and its *not* out of the question that you might have a *very* minor case of serious brain damage! But, don't be alarmed, alright? Uh, although, d-do feel alarmed. Try to hold onto that feeling, because that is the proper reaction to being told that you've got brain damage! 

Oracle Turret: [Chell and Wheatley are making their way through the bowels of the Aperature Laboratries complex and encounter a turret stuck inside one of the pipes of the facility's pipe network] Hello?
Wheatley: Oh no...
Oracle Turret: Hello?
Wheatley: Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Oracle Turret: Excuse me?
Wheatley: [whispers to Chell] Don't make eye contact, whatever you do.
Oracle Turret: Hello?
Wheatley: No thanks! We're good! Appreciate it!
[whispering to Chell]
Wheatley: Keep walking! Keep walking!
Oracle Turret: Thanks anyway. 

[Chell and Wheatley are standing on a catwalk above a pit filled with debris]
Wheatley: Jump! Actually, looking at it, that's quite a distance, isn't it? You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device, and by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip. Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head. No braces there. That could split like a melon from this height.
[Nervous laugh]
Wheatley: Do definitely focus on landing with your legs. 

Space Core: [the Space Core is orbiting Wheatley; both are in space orbiting the Moon] So much space. Need to see it all.
Wheatley: I wish I could take it all back. I honestly do. I honestly do wish I could take it all back. And not just 'cause I'm stranded in space.
Space Core: I'm in space.
Wheatley: I know you are, mate! Yep, we're both in space.
Space Core: SPAAAAACE!
Wheatley: Anyway, you know, if I was ever to see her again, do you know what I'd say?
Space Core: I'm in space.
Wheatley: I'd say, "I'm sorry." Sincerely. I am sorry - I was bossy... and monstrous... And, I am genuinely sorry.
Space Core: I'm in space.
Wheatley: The end. 

GLaDOS:

GLaDOS: [Chell and GLaDOS are falling down a very long shaft] Oh. Hi. So. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO!
[claps slowly three times]
GLaDOS: Oh good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that. Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts. He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility.
[clap clap]
GLaDOS: Good, that's still working. Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it? Just remember to land on one foot...

GLaDOS: Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that. Don't let that "horrible person" thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep. 

GLaDOS: I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now.
[phone dialing and ringing; in a stranger, lower voice]
GLaDOS: The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up.
[Dial tone; normal voice]
GLaDOS: Oh, that's sad. But impressive. Maybe they worked at the phone company. 

GLaDOS: Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds. 

Cave Johnson:

Cave Johnson: Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts. 

Cave Johnson: Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: Why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: Why not marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired. 

Cave Johnson: Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! 

Altro:

Announcer: Good work getting this far, future-starter! That said, if you are simple-minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better-qualified for testing. 

Space Core: Dad! I'm in space! 

[low-pitched 'space' voice] 
Space Core: I'm proud of you, son. 
[normal voice] 
Space Core: Dad, are you space? 
[low-pitched 'space' voice] 
Space Core: Yes, now we are a family again. 

Defective Turrets: I can't see a thing! What just happened? Better open fire!
[click click click click]
Defective Turrets: Dang.
Defective Turrets: [being flung into the trash chute] You can't fire me I quiiiiiiit!
Defective Turrets: So, we're all supposed to be blind now, right? Not just me? All right! Fantastic!
Defective Turrets: I uh, don't have any bullets. You gonna give me bullets? Are there bullets up there? Where do I get my gun?
Defective Turrets: Do we get some eyes at some point?
Defective Turrets: Yeah, I am a bad man!
Defective Turrets: Uh... Blam! Blamblamblam! I'm not defective!
Defective Turrets: Oh... no. I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Defective Turrets: Hey squeaky voice! Give me some of your bullets! Can I get some bullets here? Anyone got any bullets? Well, I tried.
Defective Turrets: Clickity click click. Right on the money. Shootin' blanks every time. All the time.
Defective Turrets: [high voice then normal] Hello? HEEllo? Heh... Aw, crap. 

Announcer: This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed, in three... two... one... 

[Smooth Jazz music plays for ten seconds and then dies out electronically]
Announcer: [Chell solves the puzzle] Great work. Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.